i just want a girl who touches me distractedly
like sitting watching a movie and she just kinds of drags her fingers over your skin while watching and she doesn’t have a motive she’s not trying to tickle you or be sexual with you she’s just touching your skin and feeling the shape of your bones under that skin like it’s physically comforting for her to know that you’re there right under her fingertips
My dog looks like a fuzzy penis. That is all, bye.
i sat here laughing for like ten minutes
I almost had a heart attack last night while my husband and I were lying in bed reading and his entire body starts shaking. I’m all ARE YOU OK ARE YOU HAVING A SEIZURE ARE YOU CRYING WHATS HAPPENING
and then i realize he’s just laughing hysterically- so hard that he CANT MAKE NOISE
And I go: Are you thinking about that damn penis dog again?
him: *silent nodding while he claps like a dumb seal*
YOUR HUSBAND IS ADORABLE AS FUCK
Endless list of things that should have been in the movies
↳ Order of the Phoenix, p 275
“Have a biscuit,” she repeated impatiently, indicating the tartan tin lying on top of one of the piles of papers on her desk, “and sit down.”